TJ and I had decided that over Christmas break we would tell Caleb about his Autism. We could sense him starting to understand that he was different, and with him growing so quickly (he's going to be NINE), and his peers becoming more mature, we felt like it would be a good tool for him and his development right now. I've always been a huge supporter of kids with disabilities advocating for themselves. I feel like it not only helps other kids be more accepting, but it's a great safety tool as well (God forbid he ever be in a dangerous situation, I'd want him to be able to communicate his autism to first responders).
We figured Christmas break would be a good time to have the talk; lots of time at home surrounded by love and encouragement. I had a few books on retainer that I knew I wanted to use, but we just began talking about autism in general. We talked about how his brain was created differently, that there are a number of things he excels in and a number of things he struggles with, all due in part to his autism. We talked about his crazy memory; how he can remember exact dates and details that most of us can not. We talked about his musicality, his perfect pitch, and his ability to play anything on the piano after hearing it once. We made mention that he used to recite all the presidents and states from memory.
We of course talked about when he has a hard time...when a baby cries, when it's loud, when his schedule is different, when we go a different way home, when he has to wear sleeves on his shirt, when mom forgets to get Capri Suns at the store, or when his water bottle leaks, when the car battery dies and we have to get a new one, when the iPad battery dies, etc!
He seemed to be receptive to all of these things, relating them to other examples. And then we talked about a few friends we have with autism, all on different levels of the spectrum. His first thought was to say "They're really smart! Just like me!"
We knew it would be something he'd have to mull over and that a bulk of the work would come later on down the road during the tough moments, after the meltdowns, when we would remind him that it wasn't his fault...that the Autism was getting in the way of communication, or his ears are so sensitive because he was made differently. We'd continually to remind him of these things and try our best to praise his sensitive and sweet heart, his loyalty, joy, innocence, and free spiritedness.
And this week at school he was Camper of the Week. He brought in a poster of pictures from his life, and today he got to bring any picture book to read to the class. I listed a few choices for him, and none of them sparked his interest. Then he specifically asked to bring in Why Is He Doing That?, which is one of the books we used to tell him about autism. It's about a 3rd grader named Gerald who doesn't like loud noise, social interaction, or changes in his schedule (and it's written and illustrated by a local girl from Orange County). I didn't know what to say...I kept asking him if he was really sure he wanted to read that to his class (which is a 3,4,5 class designed to help meet the needs of kids like Caleb) and he insisted. So I gave his teacher a heads-up and sent him on his way (after I reminded him of his awesome-autism traits during the drive to school).
Well the day isn't half over and I got a beautiful text from his teacher saying she loved the book and that it spurred great discussion and curiosity. Oh to be a fly on the wall! We are forever grateful to our amazing support system, our friends, family, and teachers who help us every day. This is just the beginning of self advocacy for him, and we are so hopeful for him. And as always, we are so thankful to The Lord who created Caleb just the way he is; different not less.
Love love love!!
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